Who's Got Extra Love?
by xLessxThanx3x
Summary: AU. In a world where homosexuality is the accepted pairing, Kurt Hummel, a fairy, helps pair up his friends. What happens when two of his male and female friends fall in love? Based off the musical Zanna, Don't! Eventual Puckurt.


**Chapter 1: Prologue**

_"__Gooood Morning, Lima! This is Puck, comin' atcha: the voice of reason, the voice of the season here at WLUV, __the student-run radio station here at McKinley High, the heart of Ohio. It's seven a.m. on the dot and a perfect sixty-eight degrees out there to start the school year off right. Just a reminder folks: Lima's annual community picnic is this weekend, so, guys grab your guy and girls grab your girl and head on down to Breadstix! And if you don't have anyone to grab, that means you've got some extra love on your hands, and I know one magical matchmaker who__just ain't gonna let you get away with that. You can run, you can fly, but you can't hide from the love spy. So go get 'em,__ Hummel__! This one's for you."_

Kurt woke up with a small smile and stretched gracefully, just like how he did everything. As his friend Noah "Puck" Puckerman continued to host his radio show, playing only Jewish artists, Kurt went through his moisturizing routine, hair styling, and outfit choosing.

When he finished, he picked up his wand, a sparkly-pink, skinny bit of plastic, twirling it subconsciously as he went over the list of people who still needed to find love. He just helped Quinn Fabray snag Brittany Pierce, a flighty but sweet girl; Puck insisted he was too busy with the radio station to go after anyone who wasn't just a casual hook-up or one of the DILFs he cleaned pools for; and Tina and her minion Mike were too busy getting Tina ahead in everything possible to notice the same sex. So that just left Artie and Kurt's perpetually single friend, Rachel. That girl…Kurt shook his head. She was always so focused on stardom that she wouldn't let a woman into her life.

Before Kurt could even touch the door knob to leave for his first day of his senior year, his bird Pavarotti flew in, gracefully, like his owner, landing on Kurt's outstretched finger. "Hey, Pav, what's the news?" Kurt asked, bringing Pav up to his ear to hear better. "…A new quarterback? Finn Hudson? Of course he's probably lonely, he just moved here, I'll help him." Kurt gave Pav a kiss on the top of his head before letting him fly away, curious as to how this Finn kid would fit in when few people actually cared about football at all, let alone the school.

Smiling, he picked up his messenger bag and headed out the door, twirling his wand one last time, his game face on. Lima, Ohio, had better be ready to fall in love.

—

As soon as the school was in sight, Kurt heard a familiar voice yelling, "Kurt, hi!" Turning around, Kurt found none other than one of his closest friends, Quinn, and her new girlfriend, Brittany.

"Quinn, hi!" Kurt greeted back excitedly. He gave her a big hug and another to Brittany, feeling her hands go down just a bit too far on his back; he was pretty sure the girl was bisexual but he didn't care if she was, and if Quinn didn't care, more power to them.

"Kurt, you won't believe it," Quinn rushed out, holding onto Brittany's hand like her life depended on it. "We've got _great_ news," she added, Brittany nodding excitedly next to her. "Tell him, Britt!"

"Yeah!...uh…what was it again?" Brittany said, confusion slowly taking over her face.

Quinn shook her head at her adorable naivety, holding her hand tighter as she turned back to Kurt, explaining, "We love each other." Brittany let out an _oh yeah_ as Quinn continued, "And we just know we will _forever_! I can't believe we didn't meet until yesterday, Kurt! She's my soul mate."

Brittany smiled as Quinn beamed, Kurt congratulating them on their love. Quinn gave Brittany a quick nudge and Brittany said another _oh yeah_. "We just wanted to thank you for making us fall in love, Kurtie!"

Kurt chuckled, "Oh, Brittany, I can't make two people fall in love; I can merely facilitate it."

"Wha?" Brittany asked, turning to Quinn. Before anyone could answer, Principal Figgins stopped to talk to them.

"Good morning, children, it's great to be back at WMHS, isn't it?" The three students nodded before he added, "Just so you guys know, we have a foreign exchange student from Puerto Rico coming to stay with us, Santana Lopez. I know you all are friendly, so could one of you meet her outside my office in a minute or two to help her find her way?"

"I will!" Brittany said, raising her hand enthusiastically as she grinned wolfishly.

"Thank you, Brittany," Principal Figgins said. Then he turned to Kurt, "Now, Mr. Hummel, you won't be meddling with other people's personal affairs this year, will you?"

Kurt mocked shock, "Mr. Figgins, now would I _ever_ do that?" The other three looked at him with raised eyebrows. He cracked a smile, "I'll try not to, Mr. Figgins."

The principal looked like he didn't believe him, but he left anyways. "I'd better go, since Santana's probably waiting right now, bye!" Brittany said, leaving after Quinn gave her a quick kiss on the cheek goodbye.

As she flounced off, Quinn turned to Kurt and nearly squealed, "She's so _great_!"

"I know."

"Kurt, Quinn, holla at your homeboy!"

The two turned to see their close friend Artie wheel up behind them. "So, Artie dear," Kurt started, leaning over onto his wheelchair's armrest, "Do you know anyone who might have some extra love to hand out?" He punctuated the sentence with a twirl of his wand, the sunlight bouncing off the glitter.

"No," Artie said, wheeling away, Kurt managing to catch himself from falling over. "But there's this new guy, um, I was just curious if you two had seen him…"

"You have a crush on him!" Quinn exclaimed, her mouth open in a wide smile.

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"You do," Kurt said with a knowing look on his face.

"…okay, maybe a little bit. But Kurt, do _not_ get into this. I'm doing this myself," he insisted.

Kurt and Quinn exchanged a look; Artie wasn't the best at picking up people because he was normally too timid and shy to flat out ask out a guy on a date. "Please?" Kurt begged.

"No! Now here out my plan; by Friday I'll have said hi as I wheeled by and by next week we'll have started talking and then—"

"Oh my _God_," Quinn interrupted, "Just be a man, Artie, and ask the dude on a date, you _chicken_!" She continued to tease and poke her best friend when Artie froze, his mouth open as he looked past Quinn. Turning around, Quinn and Kurt saw a new kid they hadn't seen before, a tall, handsome, built man. "Hey new guy—"

Artie pulled her arm until she had landed in his lap, giggling as he wheeled them away. "Good luck on your chess match!" Kurt called out, turning back to see the same kid looking very confused, a look that should've been completely idiotic but looked adorable on him.

"Um, hi, I'm new here, I'm going to be a senior and uh…"

"Oh good, me too, I'll help you if you need anything. I'm kind of the unofficial welcoming committee," Kurt said with a giggle as they started walking. Finn gave an awkward, small chuckle. "I'm Kurt, by the way, Kurt Hummel."

"Finn Hudson."

"Oh, so you're the new quarterback," Kurt exclaimed. At Finn's confused look he added, "A little birdie told me…literally." Finn furrowed his brows but didn't say anything, obviously trying to figure out how Kurt did that. "I'm a fairy," he explained, hoping the slightly slow teenager knew about the small percentage of fairies in the world.

"That's cool!" Finn said, looking a bit freaked out but excited all the same. "We didn't have any fairies in my last school…or the one before that…or the one before that…"

"Move a lot?"

"Yeah…" Finn sighed. "My mom is in the army…my other mom died in combat when I was a kid…so we move around a lot. It kind of sucks for her since she never gets to meet anyone new to try to get a new wife and I never really get around to having a boyfriend, not because I don't want one but because I don't want one or anything I just—"

"Calm down, new kid, you'll fit in here, I promise," Kurt said with a smile, thinking Artie's crush on him could work; they would work out well together with their combined nerves and such. As they reached the school doors, Finn looked up at the fancy, beautiful architecture, biting his lip as he tried to think of where everything was.

"Want a map?" Finn nodded quickly and Kurt twirled out his wand, giving it a quick flick, a map conjuring itself into Finn's hands. At Finn's amazed expression Kurt said, "Fairy," again to make sure he understood. Finn smiled and nodded.

"Thanks, Kurt, I really appreciate all the help and stuff and—"

"Sure thing, Finn, I'll see you in classes," Kurt said as they entered the school. He waved him off as Finn studied the map, not looking at where he was going. "And break a leg at the football game tonight!" Kurt added, trying to remind himself that he would have to actually go and enjoy the game with Artie after the chess match. He grinned evilly as an idea formed in his head..

As Finn reached a corner, a short brunette studying the sheet music in front of her ran into him from the other side of the corner. Kurt's wand vibrated slightly as Finn helped her pick up the sheet music that went flying all over the place, Finn apologizing profusely. He frowned slightly; his wand acted up when two people who should be together, but Rachel and Finn couldn't be straight…right? Kurt had no problem with straight people, he was pretty accepting of that for the small-minded community he lived in. His lips pursed as he watched them in thought; Rachel fit the stereotype of the girly girl constantly immersed in theater and performing and Finn fit it by being in football…but those were just stereotypes, right? Dave Karofsky was one of the gayest men on the face of the Earth but he played football _and_ hockey. Kurt shook his head as they headed off in opposite directions; his wand must have just been acting up because those two obviously needed love desperately, never having a lover.

"Rachel!" Kurt greeted as she zoomed past. He walked as fast as he could beside her, practically running to keep up with her brisk, determined pace. Grabbing the thermos of what he assumed was one of her nonfat vegan lattes.

"Hey, Kurt," she said with a sigh. "I know why you're here, and I'm still not interested in finding a girl. I'm too busy with practices and school and ballet club and Glee club—which you know is so very strenuous—so please just let it be, okay?"

"Rachel, Rachel, Rachel," Kurt cried out, grabbing her shoulders as they kept heading to her first class. "You know I can and will not rest until I get everyone paired up. You've just never met the right girl, and that's not your fault! But there are _plenty_ of single girls who would be great matches with you—"

Rachel sighed and stopped in front of Mr. Schue's Spanish class. "Fine, set me up," she said, grabbing her thermos. Kurt cheered and clapped before she gave a mischievous grin and added, "When I'm 25 and ready for a family."

Kurt rolled his eyes lovingly, "I'm going to get you a girl, just you wait!" They bade each other goodbye and a second later, Kurt heard someone calling his name.

"Tina, Mike!" Kurt greeted as the girl bounded down the hall to him, his minion Mike following closely. Now there were always rumors around them that they were straight together, but Kurt was one hundred percent sure they just wouldn't even be able to work together. "So, what's up?"

"Well, the school board—"

"As I'm sure you are aware, Kurt," Tina interrupted Mike, "Right now Principal Figgins has to decide if the school should be allowed to have copies of Alex Sanchez's books that contain portrayals of heterosexual teen relationships."

"I think—"

"And we really need to find more guys for Glee club, especially since the school musical is coming up soon!" Tina added, interrupting Mike again. "Let's go, Mike."

The two left to go to their first class and before Kurt could walk more than a few steps he was interrupted by someone shouting his name again. He turned to see Noah Puckerman running up to greet him.

"Puck!" he exclaimed, giving his friend a hug. They walked off in the direction of Kurt and Puck's classes as Kurt twirled out his wand, the thought he had to set up Artie and Finn strong in his mind. "Can you play this for me after the game when I give you the signal, Noah?" A flick of his wand later, Noah was holding a CD in his hands.

Puck smiled at his friend's excitement, recognizing the look in his eyes. "So who are you scheming about this time?"

"You know me so well," Kurt said with a bright smile, nudging Puck's shoulder with his own.

"Well, yeah, I know you well, but I mean you just have made it your fairy mission to pair everyone up—_It's what I do_!" he said in time with Kurt. Kurt laughed as Noah slowed down as his classroom approached. Noah sighed and bit his lip, "But, you know, you always forget one…person."

Kurt stopped next to his friend, his head tilted in thought. "Really? Who? I check my lists all the time and—"

"You!" Puck insisted, smiling weakly.

"You know I have no time for romance, I'm meant to fix up everyone else!" He gave him a clap on the shoulder before flouncing off to his class, not noticing Puck's eyes following him, heartbroken at his inability to admit that even a badass needed a fairy companion to make their day brighter. Puck shook his head and walked into class, staring at the CD Kurt had given him. At least he could make Kurt's work go easier…

—

**A/N: **Hey guys, thanks for reading! This is a fanfiction based off one of my favorite musicals of all time, _Zanna, Don't!. _Feel free to check it out sometime, it's brilliant.

All reviews would be appreciated, whether they are critiques, praises, etc. Just no flames. And I promise I'll update _When You're the Best of Friends_ shortly, I just have a lot to do in that chapter, rewriting "The Rhodes Not Taken". And since I'm in the UK right now, I'm still jet lagged and trying to hang out with my niece and nephew but this has been bugging me for days to be written so I had to get it out. Hopefully it's an acceptable story :)

Love,  
>xLessxThanx3x<p> 


End file.
